kill the drama.

The Queer As Folk finale was on Sunday. Jenny and I slaved for a few hours on a cake with the cast members on it. We didn't put the lesbians because they are irrelevant. LOL

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=

BTW I ate half of the cake. I ate the heads, Jenny ate the devil's foodcake base. Marf and Tima ate the cheesecake because theyre lame.

Then on Monday night we went to the KF for Hal Spark's band Zero 1's gig. We were the youngest people there. And we paid $20 for general admisiion but sat right behind the VIPs who paid $100 per ticket. Go figure, we probably jacked some people's seats.

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The Jack's Mannequin poster I was going to steal before the show. But Jenny and Martha talked me out if it. When we left I discovered someone got to it before me. FUCKERS.

(look close and there are three different movements)

Finale. My arm is retarded. I jogged his memory and he remembered bumping into me on the street a few months ago. Yeah that made my life.

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The Grand finale.

Let's die happy now.

I am the happiest fucking loser on the planet. I went to Hal Sparks' band Zero 1's gig at the Knitting Factory. And then we met him. And got a picture. And he wrote me a note on my ticket. When we left we nearly burst into tears. Fucking love that man. Pictures demain.

Tomorrow's the Queer as Folk finale. Yeah I'm dreading it. I love that show far, far too much. Sighs.

Myspace is a crazy place. I found both of the Brit boys that me and Effie talked to after the FOB CD Release show at Irving Plaza. among other things. And they're making another pilgramage to the States to take over Warped and Hellfest hahah.

AMANDA DAMN YOU FOR MEETING SLOAN. I mean Mr. Rifkin. I mean Ron. Agh!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARIAAAAA!!

This is why I'm about to attack someone.

I FUCKING MISSED JARED LETO AND HIS BAND AT IRVING PLAZA LAST NIGHT WITH CHEVELLE BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG AND DON'T CHECK UP ON SHOWS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER. WHAT THE FUCK. WTF WTF WTF WTF.

I watched Alexander yesterday with my friends and we were like haha *passive thought* what if we randomly walked into Jared Leto on the street? Har har har. *goes back to eating*

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

At least they're going to be supporting The Used when they come around. I think. Fuck.

On another note, I watched the trailer for the 'Goodbye to Queer as Folk' special that will broadcast before the series finale on Sunday and I started tearing profusely. It was bad. I don't think I can make it through the final episode.

...And on the season finale of 'Kept' with Jeri Hall on VH1 she picked Seth over Austen. Austen equals Brown-graduated shy stud muffin. Seth is a fucking Bostonite. But I guess she justified her choice cuz she's gotten older and she's had her share of studs (well... Mick Jagger... er...) and she'd rather laugh etc etc and if she were younger of course she'd pick Austen etc etc.

I don't write things that are worth reading on livejournal and blogger and myspace so what do you expect? Me writing about things that matter that aren't on VH1 or fobrock? Gosh.

I slept over at Martha's last night. We saw a bunch of bootleg movies she got for the equivilent of US$0.03. Incredible.

Aisha bought me a box of assorted butter cookies from Harrod's and I had ten. Out of I think thirty. They are incredible. I've never been so happy to strive towards obesity. They're so fucking good. I want to live in the Harrod's bakery.

I read over old FOB entries and reviews we used to write during old shows. I think I might've shed a tear for old time's sake. Emo fruitcake x core.

I just found out Paramore will be at both of the Warped dates I'm going to. HECK. YES. I really like them alot and I shouldn't be this excited about seeing them. lol

Martha's back from China!!
Jenny's back from England!!
Tima's back from (were you in the Caribbean?)!!
Aisha's almost back from England!!

Oh joyyyyy.

On another note, my closet is now re-organized. And my room is halfway cleaned towards recovery.

I can't believe it's already August.

A little less than two weeks till Warped times two but for some reason my excitement level decreased significantly from where it was yesterday. I have this disgusting dreading feeling in my stomach. I have to say that part of it I can attribute to the fact that the Fall Out Boy set is not going to be fun with the giant crowd. We'll wait and see.

I just ate far, FAR too much Chinese food. I seriously went down to Chinatown and bought everything I could get my hands on and ate it all in one sitting. Uggghh about to puke puke puke.

My mom decided I had been in the house too long and I've been suffering from college-related stress and insomnia. Like not being able to sleep until 5AM because my mind is overrun with thoughts of how badly I'm never going to a respectable college. Therefore she gave me $100 to go buy clothes. I love it. I think I needed that. And I need new clothes anyway. My gut --Buddha as we call it-- boosted me a pant size or two. Oh god.

On another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!!

Pete's latest journal entry made me into a nostalgic emo fruitcake.

"Saturday, July 30, 2005
baby boy don't be blue. we've got big plans for you. ive been up for three days straight trying to get you off of my mind. but your stuck like super glue. what a mess. i can't say i mind it. i am in love with the show 24. it's obsession. summertime is running. sprinting. it kinda makes me feel sick to my stomach. come back. punched a wall so i couldn't type anymore. gotta make it stop. all these paragraphs have become rainchecks. promises on things that will never change. and oh god. the cameras flash at us in the dark. i miss the days of sweat dripping under the radar, just off of the grid. the grogshop. the fireside bowl. chainraction. the greendoor. the downtown. the arlington heights knights of columbus. the continental. the crystal ball never looks this clear looking into the past. im becoming vaguely disinterested in myself and all of my excuses and complaints. and you're pretty easy on the eyes- i never know how to end my conversations with you. i need a writer. i need a script. im getting desperate.

"we're just a wetdream for the webzines. make us hip, make us hip. make us scene"

posted by: peter"

Sighs.

Ooh boy it's about a month until school starts. CRUNCH TIME.

On another note, I feel horrible for the Boy Scouts of America. First five of their scout leaders were electrocuted to death on the way to the Jamboree or whatever. Then hundreds of participants in the Jamboree suffered from heat-related illnesses. And then yesterday a Boy Scout or two died from lightning strikes.

http://apnews.myway.com//article/20050730/D8BLVHN80.html

What the hell.

Oh, and I miss my friends. Cries. I hate when summer comes round and all of a sudden we're on different ends of the world.

Oh my gosh do I love Gatsby's American Dream.

Ahh.

Amanda and I were at the Continental like two freaking hours before the show... and it was 98 degrees outside and then started to rain. Grr. But of course I was lurking and got all happy when ANY of the Gatsby's guys would walk past. Hahah.

A Late Design wasted my life. That is all.

I freaking love Waking Ashland though. If you haven't heard them go listen on purevolume this instant. They're like an instant happy fix. It must be the keyboards.

And Gatsby's... are incredible live. They really are. Who cares if I had more of Nic's sweat on me than my own? THEY WERE SO GOOD. Argh argh argh I wish I could get away and see them at the Downtown tonight.

Action Action sound just like the CD and I really have to say keyboards rule my world. Really. And Clark-from-Count-the-Stars is like a little puppy. He had this goofy smile on his face the whole time and was like running around. That was fantastic lol

Maria and I left after three Spitalfield songs because we wre hungry... then we walked back to the Continental to lurk and get pictures with the Gatsby's boys but um we didn't.

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I just deleted my post by accident. GRRR.

To the point- I keep eating and can't stop. It's like a disease. Which has made my Buddha (mah tummy) gain four pounds since I got home from Fiji. Cross my fingers and hope it's just my body readjusting to the luxury of food everywhere all the time.

The boy from Relient K is freaking adorable.

The Academy on Cold Pizza this morning made my day. It was hilarious to think I got up at 8AM, hauled my pillow and blanket to the couch, and crashed till they came on. Beckett looked lovely in flannel. Rawr. It was funny watching him have a conversation about baseball and other Chicago teams with that sportscasterlady. They performed 'Checkmarks' and I ended up watching it like twice because I fell asleep during the rerun and was awaken by the chorus. Whoo

http://www.livejournal.com/users/angry_little_me/130704.html?mode=reply

Word on the street is that temperatures reached 100 degrees today... no wonder Amy and I almost died walking around. And made about five stops at random fast food places for the AC. Anyway, I got a shirt from Urban and one from American Eagle so I guess I'm a happy camper lol

Bring on the college essays, extended essa, college scouting, etc. etc. etc.

Btw- FOB on Kimmel was kind of strange to watch. Regardless, I wish I had been there. Grrr.

Hey.

I'm back from Fiji and I'm really oddly jetlagged. Like the time difference was almost a whole day so I'm not falling asleep all over the place... in fact the opposite I'm freaking out with energy.

I haven't gotten the new Harry Potter yet I should've been almost 3 hours into it by now! Argh argh. Therefore I'm reading the fifth one to quench my energy and the such.

Things About Fiji off the top of my head right now:
-I sat next to the guitarist of Stellastarr* on the flight from NYC to LA. Yeah I was stoked. Their singer sat next to my friend behind me. We bonded it was fuuuun..
-Nevu Levu & Nasivi Coso (villages we stayed at).
-Missing iTunes/friends/family/NYC way too much.
-Being completely disgustingly dirty 24/7 [example: dirt on skin mistaken as a tan].
-"Bula!!" to everyone.
-Noelle's self defense tactics.
-Brandon & Momo Fish. I mean Momo Saewa. And his dancing and constant babbling about Club Access.
-Eating bread and butter all the time. So much that the thought of it makes me want to die.
-Constant Flight delays that probably add up to an entire day.
-The Beach & boogeyboarding.
-Really gross staph infection on my arm that could have killed me if I had waited longer to see the doctor. It was nasty. Like pus-filled things all over my arm and shoulder. EW.
-Beautiful weather every day (their winter is our perfect spring day.)
-Getting messed up on Kava (traditional drink people drink to relax.. it's a mild narcotic lol) pretty much every night.. hmm.
-Ryan's dancing when we were in the carrier waiting for the Austrailian rugby team (one of them was really hot.)
-Joesesse the Kava freak who made us the strongest bowl of Kava second to none. And then made us drink it in bowls the size of my head. After four I was on the ground.
-Getting hit on by a creepy Indian guy in Nadi (one of the cities) which ended in Jenny and me running away after he's like "I want to have sex with you." Ahhh
-Our counselors Kelly and John making us believe a girl went missing and cannibalism had only stopped 10 years ago. All lies!
-John was Andrew McMahon's long lost twin.

More to come avec pictureth!

The Head Automatica show was far, far too much fun. A well deserved dance party indeeeeed.
+ tickets freeing up so that Effie Michelle and Maria could come along :)
- Waiting almost an hour with Maria (= >7 cigarettes) for Aisha and Julian
+ 80's music/ 'White Wedding' blasting between sets
+ The Fury were pretty awesome.
++ Nightmare of You bopping area
+ the midget couple dancing in front of me.
+++ HEAD AUTOMATICA's dance party plus worthy set!
-- I fucking hate security at the Bowery Ballroom
- a drunken dude thinking I was his gf and molesting my side and attempting to kiss me. "You're... soo..sohot..-I smack his arm- I'ms sorryyy" lol
+ Seeing Amanda for the first time in foreverr
+ having Tima as a part-time dance buddy
- losing Andrew and then only finding him for his boyband impression during Beating Hearts Baby lol
- Being all ready to dance to HA.. and then having a horrible whiteboy rap duo try and do a song called 'Scenester' which had a chorus of "SceeeeenesterrrrSceeeeenesterr" My fucking god I wanted to kill myself.
+ I really like this so-called moshpit etiquette thing people talk about. Like how when I bent down at the end of the set to try and find the pick they threw and people tried to help me up cuz they thought I was dying. Then a guy found the pick for me and gave it to me. Crazy.
++ Daryl is god.
+ Talking to Eddie and Fred from TBS. Very nice dudes.

Now I'm off to transfer things I need for Fiji into different bags. OH BOY.

See you in three weeks.

Two really amusing online articles (random lol):

"Chinese men measure up below the belt"
(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7588582/)

"Women's jeans inspire new trend: 'Fashioncore'"
(http://www.lsureveille.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2004/03/15/405563981f51f)

Friday- Randomly decided to go hang out in Union Square with Aisha Riana Tiggs and people... then we met up with Julian and some Irving dude let us in to the last half an hour of the sold-out Alk3 show. Freaking awesome.

Saturday- I saw this show on Broadway called 'La Cage aux Folles' and it was seriously the best thing I've ever seen. For the most part it was a crossdressing cabaret, but that was what made it really stand out.

Sunday- Gay Pride parade! Tima and I watched probably four hours of the parade and then walked down to the end of the parade route in the sweltering heat... and then I banged my toe on the pavement and now it's an open wound. Fuuuck.

Too many gay men related happenings for one weekend. To top it off:

"Jenny (9:02:58 PM): ur not @ home. Ur @ H&M

Auto response from jenniee1250 (9:02:58 PM):
Gay Pride Parade '05.
Shopping at Herald Square.
Packing....and more packing.
Call the cell, homefries.

Jenny (9:03:21 PM): Did u see the oride parade
Jenny (9:03:41 PM): its bad while i was there i kept on thinking to myself "My people"
Jenny (9:03:52 PM): Quaf is realllly affecting me
Jenny (9:05:11 PM): (not in the sense that i'm turning into a lesbian, more in the sense that i think 1I am a gay man)"

LMAO.

Off the falloutboylove community on LJ :

"FOB is doing an MTV News bulletin where they go around New York City and bother people about being tested for HIV. Pete demonstrates a saliva test on Patrick, and tries to pick up some girl while they're talking to kids in Central Park.

I'm pretty sure it made my night. morning. Whatever."

Too. Good.

Ugh I have sunburnt shoulders. GROANS. I'm a little bit tanner, not really noticeably anyway. For Amy's bday we went to Hurricane Harbor with her friends and I definantely ate twice my weight in junk food, gulped down gallons of chlorinated water, and had used up an entire bottle of sunblock. Whoo! lol and I had the biggest crush on one of the lifeguards :-X

I'm really annoyed that the Alkaline Trio show at Irving tonight is sold out. Blehhh.

SCHOOL's OUT!

Now I'm off to Jersey. Be back Friday morning ish..

Here's the plan.
Buy a dart board.
Stick a preferably ugly picture of person x in the middle (it's hard I know, pick your favorite).
Throw darts hoping it hits dead center.
Now get over it.

that's better.

I can't chill the fuck out because I'm too nervous about my exam grades because I'm so certain I failed at least two.

I'm terribly worried about my Bio exam which I took this morning.. ugh bad, bad feeling about it.

Aisha, Luis, Andrew, and I went on a 'ticket-run' to get Head Automatica tickets and KF-related tickets... and after walking to the Mercury Lounge from 23rd we got lazy and went for pizza. And then I pointed at the sky which had gone from a lovely blue to gray.

Went to an indie cd store. Look up again, the sky is almost black.

Hmm, what should we do?

Too late. It's raining. And the more we laugh in deliriem the harder it rains. I seriously hadn't been in rain tht hard in so. long.

But we took advantage of the rain and spent a total of 2 minutes in a playground and did a 6-photo picture whoring session. (Pictures on Myspace.)

I'm going to die of pneumonia. But at least I'll die happy lol

I have one more exam to go.

... and I'm home free.

Well, no. Unless I failed one. Which I am quite confident I did.

I miss my friends. Studying pulls us apart lol. No I kid, for real.

I had a dream with El Stresa and Senor B. in it last night. Rude awakening dare I say.

My history exam was disasterous. Fuck you Red Bull for giving me ADD-ish behavior! I don't think I fully answered all of the document questions, I rambled (didn't articulate at all), and I ended up rewriting my essays and ugh... it just wasn't a good exam.

Physics was probably worse. I hate the IB. Someone teach them proper english.

Went to Jenny's to see Danielle whose visitng from Sweeeeeeeden and who I missed SO MUCH. We ended upw atching Queer as Folk and playing card games and 'gambling' and eating twice our weight in Chinese food.

My stomach hurts.

Last day of real classes before the apocalypse... I have Physics and History on Friday WTF. There are about seven of us who have dualexams on Friday and we've all break freaking out...

I got the yearbook today. Sighs.

Yesterday was graduation. It was kind of bitter sweet. Too long standing up, stabbed too many times by the pin on my rose, too much oogling, too much bad gourmet food, too many things to remember without being a fruitcake.
"This is to say i will miss the class of 2005. But i hate them to death."- Maria (lol)

I went to the Avalanche show last night @ the Continental. BigSteve was piss drunk and trying to get Julian drunk and Aisha got the most amazing picture everrr with ... Mileficent lol. And when the alcohol started to get to Julian he progressed to try and gangbang Aisha and Riana LOL. IATA was amazing. So glad I went to the 'post-Graduation dinner' ANDCOUGH.

I despise the fact that my Higher History and Standard Physics exams are on the same day (THIS FRIDAY). And tomorrow is the senior graduation at the GA. After tomorrow I don't have to fucking care about that shithead anymore. Thank god.

Rar rar.

Oh god look at page 58 in the new AP with Nirvana on the cover and realize how badly I almost shit on myself at the loveliness. And FOB is all over the place. For real, everywhere. But I'm getting used to it and dare I say more accepting?

1. Happy Birthday Pete Wentz! You're an old man now.

2. OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW FUCKING HOT WAS IT TODAY?? Yeah, try 87 degrees. I almost died doing community service because I was actually broiling and by the end I was about to collapse from dehydration and being broiled. And Claire Helen and I waited like 15 minutes for a cab. It was like

TICK.

TICK.

Sizzle.

TICK.

TICK.

TOCK.

Ohmyfuckinggod.

I seriously called my brother from the cab, yelled at him to crank up the AC in my room for the first time in probably half a year, went home, stripped, and laid down on my bed. And then took an ice cold shower since we don't have hot water right now lmao.

I miss winter. I do. And how am I supposed to survive Fiji? No fucking idea.

Obnoxiously echoed on my away message--

WHO's GOING TO SEE COLDPLAY ON SEPTEMBER 7TH AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN???

ME.

Yes, bitches. Muahahha

So excited. ahhhhh

Ughhh my stomach hurtssssssss.

Fall Out Boy was on TRL today. Alot. It was a weird experience to see them perform but kind of happy making at the same time. There were more people than I thought there would be who knew them there or were just good at faking it.

Bad news- Andrew McMahon from Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin was diagnosed with Acute Lymphatic Leukemia but he's expected to make a full recovery; let's hope so... :-/

Doctor Chiu says I had a case of Hypoglycemic shock yesterday (so it seems)... so eat your breakfast every morning. Make sure you have enough protein with your carbs and sugar.

Fall Out Boy are going to perform on TRL tomorrow. I don't have school tomorrow cuz people are taking SAT/II's. Oy.

I feel the earth move under my feet, I feel the sky come falling down.

This morning I had some weird reaction... either related to hayfever or an allergic reaction to my Benadryl.. but either way it was pretty freaky. After I popped in my contacts suddenly everything became really bright and all I could see was flashing lights and I started losing my balance and I felt like puking and I started stumbling around... and then I somehow ended up in my room and I fainted next to my computer for a few minutes. And I have a few bruises to show lol

...but somehow I ended up at school on time for Einstein on the Beach which was uber exciting and now I have an exciting sunglasses tan :D

Right now the T4s are at their prom less than a block away from my house... and me and Priscilla are trying to pull together a last minute Einstein project to do with SPF, skin, and UV Rays... and I had an allergy attack and took a Benadryl and feel so fucking drugged out... ughhh

Things I've Achieved During Spring Break.
-I cleaned my room.
-Watch FUSE like crazy now that we got Time Warner cable (fuck a cow, RCN lol)

That's about it lol, I didn't do much homework, or successfully install Roadrunner DSL onto my computer. Ungh.

This week is going to be incredible, though.
Tuesday we have normal classes.
Wednesday is Einstein on the Beach = doing jackshit.
Thursday is normal class.
FRIDAY IS FREE because kids are taking the SAT's and SATIIs the next day and it's a day off! I LOVE THREE DAY WEEKENDS!!

But then it's exams and T4 graduation.

Oy vey.

"Nothing good is happening..."

In all seriousness, I feel like a wall has been erected around me and I don't feel in touch with reality or my friends or anything.

What the fuck.

For realz, my luck is running out. I don't know what I think about it. Kind of pissed je think.

THE ALIAS SEASON FINALE WAS AMAZING.
...his name isn't Michael Vaughn. Ahhhh (watch and get it).

The LOST finale was decent.

Either way, J.J. Abrams is god.

A few things before I collapse into bed--

Seeing the Fall Out Boy video played on TRL on MTV and talked about by the VJs was a whole new experience for me. Still don't know what I think about it.

I was supposed to go to Blood Brothers but instead went by myself to the knitting factory to see JACK'S MANNEQUIN. THEY ARE INCREDIBLE. Ahhhh. ANDREW McMAHON IS GOD. I'm so glad that I went. Even if I did miss out on lurkingXcoreXhardcoreXlovah.

.... on my way to the subway I walked past two people who shall go by the names B and W. I really just didn't need that. Blehhhh

...

In sharp contrast to all my previous posts, I don't like That Boy very much anymore, I don't know how I can. Sometimes you don't need to know every thing/the whole story. What you see on the present is sufficient enough without having the dwell on past occurances.

It's kind of a relief not having the burden of that huge crush, but it's also kind of bothersome because now I feel a little empty. And cheated to think I had such a skewered imagine of him.

Back to being emo in Square One!

Thursday- I went to the Foreign Language Festival at school and it was awesome. I loved how everyone just got up and danced in the middle of the theatre at the end... I think my favorite performances were the belly dancing, my brother's random dancing (LOL), THE JAPANESE DANCE SKIT (I seriously almost pissed on myself), and a few others...

Today- I missed so many chances. But besides that.. uh lol nvm. My brother saw Star Wars today because tickets randomly freed up. Spite! My head hurts. Le Oy. Maria called me during 'How to Be Dead' during Snow Patrol's set and that made my day...

I HATE BEING INTIMIDATED BY BITCHES WITH PUPPY DOG EYES AND FUCKING AWESOME HAIR AND ARE SHY AND GOOD WITH KIDS (APPARENTLY). lol god, I'm not that pathetic I swear. GOSH.

I will be doing Community Service in FIJI from June 28th to July 14th.

Petty rant: ACCEPTANCE AND ANBERLIN HAVE A SHOW AT THE DOWNTOWN ON JULY 10th.

...and Jen sits and cries because she's missing her hearts.

Waaaaahhhh.

05/17/2005 Fall Out Boy On TRL - June 3rd Fall Out Boy will be performing on TRL during their "Spankin New Sounds Of Summer Week" in Las Vegas on June 3!

aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

I'm home for my double free and I have to go back for Physics Math and Chinese in like 25 minutes... groans. Whyyy can't I just fucking stay home for a day. Not in the mooooood.

He eats! lol sad.

After an unsuccessful trip to the 'Lighthouse Posh Sale' (well Maria got Oscar de la Renta shoes for $20), I got a pair of Blue Cult jeans for $38 on Friday and the hapiness lasted me a few hours until the nighttime, when I had a bit of a spastic emo fest and had crazy desperate thoughts about ways to talk to that boy. Pathetico like I don't know what.

Helen Claire and I almost died of exhaustion/dehydration during the Red Dive Chinatown tour. So. Painful. AGH. AND BECAUSE OF IT I DIDN'T GET TO SEE HAL SPARKS AT THE AIDS WALK IN CENTRAL PARK WHICH I WAS FUCKING SUPPOSED TO BE AT. But my brother got an autograph and Jennay called me during his mini speech so twas exciting.

Fall Out Boy will be on Hardrock Live in early June. They were also on the AOL Music Frontpage and I nearly SHAT on myself. Jeeez.

So maybe I am a moron and coward for being in the library and not doing anything. By the end of this week, je promis.

Aisha and I went to Conan to see FOB. We didn't get standby tickets so we walked around Rockerfeller Center with Tiggs and her friend for an hour or so... went back to NBC Studios and caught up with the Fall Out Boys before they left. We had a longer-than-usual convo with Andy about plane crashes. Don't ask lol. I LOVE THEM.

Then I shimmied on down to the Bowery Ballroom and got there right before Head Automatica went on. They were increeeaadible! Dance dance dance what a fucking pretty bunch of people.

Acceptance is seriously my HEART. Ungh I love them. It was seriously me, Tima, and four other people singing along. I forgot to say hi/bye to the Sony A&R guy a.k.a. my new best friend / ill connection... and I didn't stick around to talk to Jason or anyone because I was tired and needed a ride home before my mother threw a shit fit.

Which she didn't.

SO WHY DIDN'T I STAY? Because I'm a good asian daughter. Next time, then. With Anberlin. Waggle waggle indeed!

Word on the street was fXc was there but I didn't see him...?

The library was seriously my favorite place to be the entire day today. It wasn't even funny how happy it made me. Ask Maria. I think I was flushed for part of lunch. And I was defffffinentally a lurker last period. LOL you don't have to understand that.

Today is going to rule. FOB @ Conan (if we can get spots it will be incredible) then Acceptance and Head Automatica at the Bowery Ballroom. Too fucking awesome if you ask me.

Sometimes I don't freaking understand the sympathetic hypocrite's mindset. I think I'm losing the guilt factor or losing my conscience either way sucks.

Have you ever felt really bold in the middle of the night. Like you have this spur of emotion and feel like you can do fucking anything... like starting a conversation with that boy.

I'm so drained. Rahhh

Happy Mother's Day for you mothers out there...

Punchline on Saturday was fun. I love their shows more than I care to admit.

Cisek's play was really amusing on Friday. Also on Friday I was walking up the stairs looking completely drugged out and I almost walked into That Boy and like cried lol oy

Soo FALL OUT BOY last night! For serious, Myspace led me to talk to so many people. Shoutouts ensue. I went to Tower in the morning instead of english to get my 2nd copy of the FOB CD and my wristband for the preshow soundcheck... and right afterschool we ended up walking and cabbing our way to Irving.

People came and went, socialized a whole bunch... the staff wouldnt let Beckett in cuz he lost his pass lol. Then they let us into Irving where we got to watch a 2-song soundcheck. Apparently they were filming it for some MSN special so keep your eyes peeled for that! Then they kicked us to the curb and brought us back in for a ghettoass signing which was fun anyway :P The Fall Out Dudes were lovely.

fXc and Riana and scene points and manpurses and good charlotte and yellow. GOODNESS. Dual aneyrsem heartattack right there.

This giant orgy of people up front who were all BFF or only knew each other for ten minutes appeaered and we were right in the middle lol. They let us in around 8 and we ran up to the barricade since we're ridiculous...

The AKA's were awesome even though I think we collectively only knew like two songs.

Gym Class was really great as well. Cupid's Chokehold and Patrick coming out really really started off my night. And Beckett coming out for The Simple Life or something. Gah!

THE ACADEMY=AHH. Serious dancing and melting to the tune of Bill Beckett. No joke. They were filming a video for Checkmarks so hey, we might be on it. Completely absurd in every sense of the word. But they were incredible. It was Maria's first time and she almost cried when the now-un shy Beckett shimmied. (!!!)

Then FOB! Whoooooo! They were amazing. God I love them so much. Afterwards I managed to get the roadie to peel the second setlist off the floor for me so that made my day.

Fastforward past merch, MariaAisha leaving, losing half the people I came in with, sitting on stoops with Effie, got pictures and snuck in convo with all the dudes. Too tired to write those...

AHH JAY Z and BEYONCE were there!! EEEEeeeee. Effie and I talked to British boys. Always, always fun. Fun is not namedropping. COUGH AHEM lol.

Gooooodtimes. Now we either have Conan or Warped. Shrugs.

Maria- Congratulations, it's a boy!!

Groans, I'm exhausted.

College fair was fun until I realized I'm never getting into college. Watch me go to Rutgers or something. Oy. My family would freaking disown me. I definantely stalked this one boy with a green hoodie from some other school when I wasn't spazzing about bumping into blank.

Faaaaaaaall Out Boy today! So excited, so excited.

Goodnight.

I got a haircut today but it's more of a trim than anything else. Random lol

Jenn y Amy --> Danke muchos for calling me throughout Bamboozle Day 2! I wish that I could've gone :(

I GOT THE NEW FOB CD IN THE MAIL TODAY. It's amazing. It really is. I can't stop playing the life out of it. Ahhh.

F.E.W. Fundraiser-slash-highschoolrockbandsshowcase = amusing.
thelovelyonewasthere. lol

JamisonParker/LolaRay show was awesome. Ahh.
+ JamisonParker's set
- Playing only Your Song 'Notes and Photographs' and the rest were new...
+ Dancing upstairs to Lola Ray
+ "Big ups to the dance party upstairs!" John (singer)
+ Talking to Jamison for a long, long time. He's so fucking awesome I can't even describe it. He is our heart lol

etc., etc.

I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK THIS WEEKEND.

I've got a bad feeling about this. No, not 'this.' Everything-

But aside from that, it was the T4s last real day of school...(MariaJenSigh) now they’ve got a week or so to study for IB exams which should be killer.

My head hurts, it's been like this for a day or something. And this disgusting sinking feeling mixed with butterflies in my stomach. Anxiety and Dread, probably. Excitement for Fall Out Boy in SIX DAYS?? It's too good. That show will make my life a little bit. It's too good to get fucked up.

I haven't seen the FOB Fuse tape cuz it's at Aisha’s house. Maria said that I looked dead during the second take of DANCE DANCE.. Eh, my legs are still cramped from that and then Acceptance yesterday. I haven't finished watching the Release the Bats DVD, either. Le OY indeed.

-Get priorities straight, bitches. For serious, it's not cool.

-I don't owe anybody anything, including an apology. I gave fair warning of my intention to dash right after class to go to Fuse whether it was alone or not. Can't blame that. Hustle Hustle, just to get that out of the way.

-I like what we have going on here. Sadist moment, it'll pass soon. Misery loves me.

Oh, and way to become BFFL with the Sony A&R dude Acceptance thanked on their Phantoms CD for a day muahaha. Iiiilll connections indeed!

Since I am on a crazy rant, I'm slowly losing love/faith in the New York music scene. Thank you, Myspace! I don't know, I was in love with the Scene for a while and now I think it's becoming a miserable joke on my part. Taking up too much of my time. Watch something happen that will make me fall right back down the rabbit hole. But even so, I hate how it's like a disease that keeps on spreading. If you're safe from being neurotic then stay that way. Stay with what you know. Stay with your brand new converses and Top 40 countdowns, at least you know it. It’ll save me a lot of agony.

Sheesh.

“Namedrop namedrop oooh look at me aren’t I freaking hilarious? Yahyo of course!” For you. Exclusively. On the internet too, lame. Cuz where else could you go and read this without company?

Delete day coming soon when I lose any pride I still have intact.

At freaking 11PM last night I got an email from the Acceptance Mailing list saying they were randomly playing a [CD Release] show as Good Charlotte's opening band at some Radio promo thing. Run off sentence but I care little. I emailed the link and ten minutes later and got two tickets which MADE MY NIGHT.

Fast forward past melodramatic day, me and Riana went to Radio City and got my tickets, then bumped into these dudes from the Acceptance show at the Tribeca Rock Club when I got in somehow but they didn't.. the guy sed Jason took down his number to call him next time they have a show. AWW. Blah blah, we had general admission and I freaked out when I saw Jason come onstage during soundcheck. Aaaahhh!

Randomly during their first song, as we were freaking out and dancing and singing and all that jazz, some guy was like 'Do you want to move up to the front?' Me: YES. And he gives me and Riana tickets to go past general admission and up to the the front.. like 10 rows back or something. It ruled so badly.

Setlist in no order:
Different
Permanent
So Contagious
Bleeding Heart
The Letter
Take Cover
...and two or more songs, I can't remember their proper names off the actual album..

Afterwards, I waited a bit with Riana and these guys who knew her and got to talk to Jason in the middle of Jason being swarmed by girls. STUD. He's lovely. And I talked to Christian and Kaylan quickly before I left (they were loading up the van).

ONE WEEK!

Right after school Aisha Maria and I made a mad dash out of math class and out onto the FDR. Where a free cab miraculously appeared to whisk us off to Fuse to see FOB. We got out early and ran in the rain like we were on the track team.. we were the last few people allowed inside the studios because we were lucky to have Riana and Tiggs there early to tell the Fuse people we were in a cab...

We ended up waiting almost three hours to get let into the studio. Before, Maria and I went into the bathroom and saw Pete Joe and Andy and said Hi... they split us into three groups that were supposed to rotate but somehow we managed to stay inside the whole time and not go into the other room.. They did Dance Dance (twice), Sugar (twice), Saturday, Grand Theft Autumn, Sixteen Candles, and Lawyers..

Dancing galore!

We then waited for over an hour for them to come out. I love them so much. They all looked so sick, tired, and worn out. Le oy.

OMFG IM SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR FUSE AHHHH

Really, I’m about to fall over.

AHHH.

Thursday-

Went to get Jack's Mannequin tickets @ KF after my piano lesson, then I took the subway to the iPod store and try to get my iPod fixed but found out I needed an appointment. =SHIT. Then I went to the Bowery Ballroom and stood there for over an hour for my Acceptance tickets. AND NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME I WAS WAITING AT THE WRONG VENUE even though I made it clear I wasn't there for whatever loser senior citizen band. So then I walked freaking 11 blocks to the Mercury Lounge and found out it CLOSED THE SAME TIME I WAS LET IN AT THE OTHER PLACE. AAAHHH. Bitches. Really. So I'm going there again in a few minutes. For serious, people suck.

Friday-

Bleh. [Haircuts aren't always that hot.] Oh, but some Soho shopping was fun.. I got sunglasses at Flying A cuz i needed them and I wanted the hot bag lol.. then met up with Mariaaaa for Japanese food with Aisha and some Diesel shopping (they're so HoboXcore) where WE FOUND fXc's JACKET. lmao! Then a mini Jager party at Marias.. Jeez that an Benadryl at night for my allergies= passed out in bed by 11.

Aujourd'hui-

Script reading for community service with Helen and Claire @ some house in the village for a Chinese tour by Red Dives. Yeah.

I think I'm on parental controls with a time limit again.

...eeeeeeww.

On a lighter note, we're back to April showers tomorrow according to the cracked out weatherman. Enjoy the beaaaaauutiful weather while it lasts!

Ahh we had a fire drill today during SEVENTH PERIOD. Wtf indeed, but it was fucking fantastic. Fab.

I missed Acceptance on FUSE today because I don't have that damn channel. Poop.

"Happy 420 if you're into that sort of thing" lol

For those of you who don't have tickets to The Bamboozle Festival next weekend, you can still come town and take part in the fun! Due to overwhelming e-mails and phone calls from non-ticket holders, the event organizers have set up multiple FREE stages, giving everyone an opporitunity to be a part of this year's event! Check the replaies for more details.

Some of the artists scheduled to appear for FREE are...
Action Action
Anberlin
Big D and the Kids Table,
Spitalfield
The Black Maria
A Wilhelm Scream
With Honor
Acceptance
Idiot Pilot
The Street Dogs
Minus the Bear
Bayside
Burning Bright
Allister
Say Anything
Moneen
The Honorary Title
Wakefield
Van Stone
Melee
The Skake, The Cross, The Crown
The Explosion
The Academy Is...
Circa Survive
JamisonParker
Number One Fan
Gatsbys American Dream
This Day and Age
Spill Canvas
Gym Class Heroes
Punchline
Over It
Lola Ray
and many many more!!

There will also be additional tickets available for sale the day of the show at venues like The Stone Pony and Wonder Bar who will be housing bands like Funeral for a Friend, The AKA's, Bleeding Through, Lucero, The Chemistry, Emanuel, Kane Hodder, Saosin, It Dies Today, The Bled, Army of Me, Boys Night Out, Fear Before the March of Flames and more! So get there early... entery is on a first come, first serve basis!

Be sure to check www.thebamboozle.com next week for the complete festival schedule!

(http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=68392)

I definantely just freaked out a little bit.

I've definantely fooled my mother into believing that I have the talent and luck of 'discovering bands' with potential (like making it big), e.g. Fall Out Boy and Acceptance, in order to justify my contant trips to FUSE. I don't have talent I just end up falling in love with bands for good reason and their talent makes them successful.

I love spring.

I love running around in t-shirts.

Je deteste my arms.

I can't catch to save my life in softball.

My bangs have begun to flip; I need a haircut... badly.

I was definantely prancing around and raving like a lunatic at the WRONG TIMES, like when I left school and I was hollering and I turn around to see what I've been avoiding all freaking day since I didn't feel so great.

Just when I thought I had gotten over seasonal allergies-slash-extreme hayfever, I catch myself sneezing to death in history. Pollen, not?

This is random, but sometimes people just shouldn't get haircuts. It's not right lol. Riana and Aisha: it's like if fXc shaved his head. Then we'd all sit at home and cry. As long as whoever doesn't cut that lovely floppy hair of his I'll tolerate it.

Crikeys.

Not to offend anyone in any way, but...

The new Pope (Benedict XVI) looks frightening. Scary. And reminds me of Chucky.

I hate having bad days when it's beautiful weather outside... it was ridiculously warm today actually. Sighs I love spring.

Shrugs.

Still a pessimist.

Quote my dad: "I hope when you go away to college, you won't come back." And later: "You know what I think about you. Check your cell phone voicemail to hear about it." "I cut off ties with people. Ask your mom. I don't scold people, I get right to the point. I cut them like a razor."

It kind of hurts when you hear your dad saying this.

-My iPod definantely broke in some sense of the word.= trip to the iPod store or a new iPod. Groans.
+Fall Out Boy on Conan O'Brien May 10th. Watch it! What's on that day too? ACCEPTANCE, HEAD AUTOMATICA, A STATIC LULLABY, and VENDETTA RED. = AHHHH! But I can only stay for Acceptance And Head Automatica. Ahh anyway.
+APRIL 25th: FOB @ FUSE. For serious, it's going to make my life.
+APRIL 30: PHANPLAN @ KF (aka dinner and a movie)
+MAY 3rd: FOB Dance Party @ Irving.
+MAY 7th: Punchline?
+JUNE 7th: fXc lmao

College tripping to Vasser (beautiful campus, good curriculum, pansy guide), Yale (extremely impressive and an awesome tourguide), and Wesleyan (less than my expectations)... I think I liked Yale the most even though I know for a fact I'll never get in. Backup plan is to go to a respectable school and then transfer over or something...

Open Mic on Friday was awesome. PETERPAN COMPLEX, MOTHERFUCKERS! Whooo. Even if their own song didn;t work out the covers were great.. and I actually really liked the T1 keyboard whatever else thing that was... and the T2 band with Simon and Bachman and whoever else... and Sarah's slam poetry ... and Choung and Tim's piano thing....

Definantely stared at [blank] alot because I'm pathetic and he was sitting across from me and it's not like I could avoid looking at him. Oh god and when he came in Maria tried to grab the camera away from me to take a stalker picture put I lunged at her and grabbed it back cuz that wouldve been so bad lol

Ew I'm so fucking exhausted. Today was beaaaaautiful spring weather so I might ditch HW for a while and go walk around..

kill the drama.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

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